According to the churches as a whole and many Christians alike I am trash and not suited to fulfill what I know is Gods calling on my life, I have reached out to family, people that I thought I knew, hundreds of churches those that claim to be Christians, pastors and the people that told me if you ever need any help call me it was those very people that refused to help me, how is my calling any more ignorant than professed Christians today that have turned the church into a Circus act. "did I touch a nerve" Only two men in my life has helped with what they can and I know God will bless them. I suffer daily from the fact that in 2012 my wife of 15 years left and divorced me she also threw me away like trash she left me for a 24 year old co worker now only months after my divorce I was homeless and had lost everything, you see I have Dyslexia so severe that I did not finish past the 7th grade and did not finish school, although I made great efforts to get a GED but failed, what people did not know is that I suffered from physical and sexual abuse as a child this has greatly effected who I have become as well as my marriage to the women that I will for ever love, I have lost hope in a society that is dictated by money and greed. My own family just two months after my divorce lied to a state judge and had me falsely placed in a hospital against my will, it was revealed to me by my attorney that I was put in the psychiatric facility because of my beliefs in Jesus Christ and these very people sat in a church on Sunday, I was locked up for right at two months and told by one doctor that I was a liar and that I was never married and had never owned a business I made many efforts to contact my wife to ask her to call the doctors she laughed at me crying on the phone and told me to never contact her again.
One doctor went as far as to get a state order to force me to take drugs that made me physically sick and distorted my thinking, nevertheless I was only focused on getting out of that hell but was terrified of being homeless and walking the streets. After I started threatening a law suit I was released just after Christmas of 2012 let me say that I have lived in fear daily and will always, we live in a country that allows people to be controlled, lied upon and used like trash; you see people talk about what they have never experienced they judge as if they are in Gods position and they fall on deaf ears to the hell that someone is suffering, and then they go to church on Sunday. I have cried out to God to give me a real purpose and to forgive me for the PTSD that I suffer with I was hospitalized at age 12 for a nervous breakdown form the physical and sexual abuse and still today I think how could God use a man as broken as me, He placed a calling on my life that many do not understand.
I started carrying a 12' cross from Fort Worth on August 12, 2013 in an act of faith and obedience to an unexplainable calling this calling was not without preparation but also it came with great criticism and judgment from those that I would have thought would be the first to help in any way they could as this whole calling is about Jesus Christ. I would learn very quick that Churches and Christians all over the U.S. thought that carrying the cross was stupid and they would not help me in anyway while others did help, I was told by one pastor that I was going to hell and that I needed to find salvation while another pastor told me that he would not get caught dead carrying the cross but this pastor ask me to speak to his church. My best and only friend whom I lived with for a time after my divorce was the only support I had and its because of him that I ever was able to start carrying the cross on the morning of August 12, 2013 at 8:30AM and Satan has made great efforts to stop my calling from day one.
The donation account you see to your right was only set up after the bank suggested that it would be best that I have a way to accept donations and some people out on the road did ask me if I had a way they could help online or if I had a website what people don't know is I did web design on my own during my marriage and yes this website has changed a few times in fact its changed 4 times as I have been criticized and told by some that I don't need help buying equipment and that if I could afford a website then I did not need financial help with my calling. Unfortunately this website was to be a way for people to keep in touch a safety blanket, the website cost $70 a year and I have done all the work sadly it has turned into an ungodly Circus of me having to beg for support and spill my guts to prove to people what God has called me to do.
I would like to set the record straight in no way have I been made rich from this in fact I only own as of 4/22/2012 two pairs of tan missionary short pants some socks, underwear and a few t-shirts my shoes and a pack that was strapped to the old 12'cross my new testament missionary bible and the "funds" you see above in the donation box under "Raised" you see I am currently in Everman, TX struggling to raise the $1,400 needed to buy some specialized equipment this equipment is needed for me to be able to safely continue my calling , I have tried for over 5 months to raise the needed $1,400 and only to have pastors and Christians tell me sorry we can not help you, I have ask for donations of a dollar and all I'm told is we will pray for you; "Church read your Bible" I started out with the wrong equipment and I was injured after only 205.3 miles of walking carrying the 75lb cross, thus landed me in the ER with a knee injury and thank god today I am 100% recovered today, "I was told by a pastor it's not the churches place to help you in you calling" again "Church read your Bible" The cross below is the first cross that I carried as you can see it had two wheels on the back and after 100 miles law enforcement would not allow me to continue for safety concerns of being up on the road, I had to return to Fort Worth in September of 2013 to build a new cross the one you see above and to your right, I was told by people that I was lying and those that did help with the cross also made accusations as well , I see it like this carrying a cross of any size is a challenge and there are no books or manual to teach what I have been called to do.
I need people to understand that walking down the road side 8 and 9 hours a day in all weather conditions carrying the cross is work and will effect your life mentally, physically and spiritually I have no home, car, money and no one that I can truly rely upon for help or to lean on I am alone and people just don't understand my calling. I have walked carrying my cross in 32° rain and also in 105° heat the picture you see to your left is of me in August of 2013, I was fond past out on side of the road just hours after this picture was taken and again this was due to the this was due to the fact that I have reached out to churches all over for help in raising donations for real equipment so I can safely finish a calling that effects all christian and all churches world over.
I am fallible and have fallen many times and I am sure that as human I will again, you see part of the reasoning behind this web letter is I want people all over this world to know the truth behind many false churches and I mean many, this is were I will start to use scripture from the bible and let me say every verse I use is in 100% context .
Terry Ray Pollard unworthy by the church and Christians to carry a cross down the road.